Personal Childhood Web

The five people whom I fondly remember as people who nurtured and cared for me are not all biologically-related to me but I consider them equally as important as the biological relations:

• Gega (our word for grandma)--my maternal grandmother
• Mama Julia-- my paternal grandmother
• Grandpa--my paternal grandfather
• Uncle Morgan/Uncle Addy--my maternal great-uncle and his life partner
• "Beaver" and his wife--our neighbors the street when we first moved to Orange County, CA
• Ursula--an upstairs neighbor in the apartment complex we lived in

Gega was so sweet. She was the "nice" grandma whereas Mama Julia was the "mean grandma." Gega was nurturing and always wanted me to have fun. She liked taking my siblings and I places like the zoo, library, the movies...She showed us she loved us by making sure to spend time with each of us separately doing the individual things we each liked to do. She took my sister to violin concerts, took my brother to sporting events, and took me to dance events and to the science museum. She loved reading and instilled the love of reading in all of us. We never ever got "in trouble" while in Gega's care. No matter what we did--and we did a lot of naughty things--she never ever got mad. She also never told our parents! Gega treated everyone she met like they were her best friend. I took her ability to smile and engage people with warmth from her. It is a signature behavior I use all the time in my photography work and it works like a dream. She touched a lot of lives and I met a lot of wonderful people at her funeral. She was truly a special person. To this day I sometimes catch myself using her favorite phrases or sayings when things get bad. She always told me, "You're never fully dressed without a smile," or, "Chin up, buttercup!" She became my son's favorite person when he was younger. She passed away when he was about seven so he really missed her and still does to this day. This is a photo of Gega and my son at a Kindergarten Grandparent's luncheon.

Mama Julia was also very loving but also very stern. She was considered the "mean" grandma. She wasn't afraid to use a "switch" (a branch from the apple tree) to spank us when we misbehaved. Although she was stern, she taught us a lot about the world and how to behave in it. She told us about her life growing up very poor. I loved to hear her stories as she told them with such a flair you would swear you were reliving it yourself in the moment. She was the family historian with photos from our ancestors that I treasured when I was young. She nurtured me by sewing all of my school clothes, teaching me how to cook, sew, care for my hair, and how to appreciate the sacrifices of those who came before me. Before she passed away, she gave me her two sewing machines and all of her fabrics, notions, etc. She cared for my grandfather until he passed away and watching her do that, I saw a soft side I had never seen as a child.


Grandpa was Mama Julia's husband...my father's father. He was the best grandpa ever! He taught me all about how to take a "coffee break" in the middle of hard work, how to care for fish in a fish tank, how to plant, paint, hammer nails, dig trenches, paint houses, fix a flat tire, shoot a BB gun, skin a squirrel, and more. The thing I remember most about Grandpa was how he looked after me and nurtured my sensitive soul. He said he felt bad for me being  "the middle child." He said I got a tough break because my younger brother was always allowed to misbehave, and my older sister was always finding fault with me. So whenever we spent the night at their house, he would wake me up and sneak me into the kitchen and make me root beer floats! This was our fun time...our hang out time...out secret time. I loved hanging out with Grandpa.

Uncle Morgan was my mom's uncle on her father's side. He was so suave and debonair. I remember thinking he was a movie star when he only worked in a toy factory. He met his life partner, Uncle Addy, back in his early twenties and they stayed together until my great uncle passed away. I remember them as being the cool uncles who would buy us expensive things. Whenever our family was hurting for money, they would give what they could. At the time, I never knew they were homosexuals. I just thought they were best friends living together. I think I figured it out on my own when I was in my early twenties. I just always thought nothing strange or different of two grown men living together. It was what it was and nothing more. Uncle Morgan and Uncle Addy paid for a lot of my undergraduate degree and helped me support my son when he was young. They guided me when I was young and taught me about art and the finer things in life. They also loved taking me to the beach and showed me how to appreciate nature's beauty.

"Beaver" was the neighborhood fun guy. He and his wife would have the children in the neighborhood over for milk and cookies. They were like grandparents to us all. They would allow us to play in their huge backyard and we liked to help them tend the garden they had. Beaver and his wife always had great stories to tell us from "the good old days."

Ursula was my mom's best friend when we first moved to Orange County. She, her husband and three kids lived upstairs and became like our second family. Ursula would take the time to do my hair since my mother didn't know how to care for the frizzy and unruly mop I had on my head. She and Ursula would sit and talk for hours while Ursula washed, conditioned, and braided my hair for the week. Hair duty used to belong to my grandmothers but when we moved away from them, my mother was at a loss until she met Ursula. Ursula became as close as a second mother for the time we knew them.