Support. This word means a lot of things to me. In my life it has meant a helping hand, a smile, encouragement...anything that helps "hold me together" or "lift me up" so that I can continue to meet my challenges head on and complete my goals.
My current challenge is completing this degree and finding a career in the field. At my age, I think I am too old for this but I know that is just the negative side of things trying to hold me back. My current supports as far as the people in my life go are my sister, my mother, and my friends.
There are also the supports in the community that I use often to help me along with this challenge. I currently use the food banks in my area to help supplement the food I cannot afford while working and going to school. The money I earn from my full-time job is enough to pay only part of the rent. The extra money I earn and get from financial aid goes to pay the rest of the rent and the utilities, gas for the car, maintenance for the car, and other medical and dental emergencies we are paying for. The food bank is a great support because there have been times when we were at a loss and the food banks really helped.
Another community support that really got me out of a bind was the Community Action Partnership. They helped pay my gas and electric bills when I was about to have them turned off for non-payment.
I also consider the support of my classmates and colleagues as a support in the terms of how they keep me motivated. I read discussions and discuss things with these people who all share a vision of reaching our goals with this degree. We support each other by helping each other see that what we are doing and saying and thinking is valid, valuable and necessary. Without this support I think I would just drop-out and find some simple 9 to 5 job as a cashier somewhere and be happy that way. But that is not my calling. Through this endeavor, I am seeing more and more that I belong here...doing what I am doing and that my work matters.
The people in my life help me with emotional support and monetary support when they can. They too struggle in this economy and we are all trying to "make ends meet." At this point in my life I feel like I should be doing better than I am and I am very hard on myself. I am embarrassed for not being able to provide for my son and for not being able to find a better-paying job (although I am looking and applying day and night everyday). When I get down on myself for all that I have not been able to do but should have been able to do, my friends and family are there to keep me feeling good and keeping my head up and focused on the goal. I do not take meds to help with my anxiety and stress, I turn to friends who make me laugh, listen to me cry, and have my best interests at heart. I love them for it and I am so fortunate that they love me too. They take me dancing, to live music concerts, the pose for portraits for me, and they hug me.
Without these supports...the impact on my life would be huge. I know there have been several times I was near a break-down and a friend or family member pulled me out. Supported me and that was huge. I do not think I would be as successful without these supports. I wouldn't be dead or homeless, but I would be sad, unmotivated, and I would give up.
Hello Kim,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing such a personal story. I too have been in and sometimes still am in that where you have to decide what gets paid and what doesn't. We all need supports throughout our life or at least I think so. I am so glad that you have chosen to continue through this program because it IS YOUR CALLING! not because it is what is easy. My mother always told me that if we do only what is easy then we would never really do anything. In a "9 to 5" job like you said I think you would be miserable although you probaby would be paid more, I know I would.
Thank you for sharing your story. I feel that you are never to old to learn or continue on with your dreams and passions. I have thought that many times in my life. I have always thought why I did not do things earlier in life. Well we are all here because we chose and there are no accidents why we ar all here.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds as though you have had much support and classmates and friends are important for all to succeed.
Thank you again for sharing your story.